Mugatu Says

The flying Tomatoe splats at the X-games

2007-01-31T15:55:00.000-08:00

Snowboarding great Shaun White came away with the silver medal last week at the winter X-games. The once superstar of snowboarding’s performance at the X-games will forever be an asterisk on his remarkable career, and he will certainly be criticized for not stepping down in his prime. White had won the super pipe competition the last 4 years as well as Olympic gold earlier last year, but he was still a heavy underdog because of his age. At 20 years old White had become the Rocky Balboa of snowboarding, and few believed he would even be able to strap on a board in his aged condition. Sunday’s performance was a testament to the feeble nature of man, and a reminder to all that age truly is the great equalizer. Shaun White will always have his silver medal to remind him of the year he was just to old to cut it.

Mugatu Says there is no shame in quitting while you’re ahead. Shaun here are some sandals you can wear while you’re driving your retirement yacht.

Lindsey Jacobellis looses again in her reoccurring battle with gravity

2007-01-31T15:39:00.000-08:00

Lindsey Jacobellis left the 2007 X-games with the Silver medal in snowboard X and the long awaited confirmation that she is cursed by god. Jacobellis infamously crashed and gave up her insurmountable lead in the Snowboard X competition in the 2006 Olympics costing her the gold medal, and in Saturday’s X-Games she was able to replicate the feat, almost identically. “We were not completely sure that Lindsey was cursed by the almighty one after Torino” said her father “but now that she has inexplicably chocked twice, we can just kind of look up in the sky and chuckle.” Jacobellis was shaken up after crashing across the finish line, and was taken to a nearby hospital as a precaution; her condition is listed as bitter and resentful.

Mugatu Says that Lindsey will enjoy falling all the time if she softens the blow with the Red Impact Shorts

Britney’s Divorce Brings out her Raw “Maternal Instinct”

2006-12-05T18:22:00.000-08:00

Since Britney Spears first announced her pregnancy almost 2 glorious years ago people have been criticizing her capabilities as a mother, but last week, in an unbelievably selfless act, Britney finally put to rest the rumors of being a poor mother. Knowing full well that her children would eventually see the pictures, Britney flashed the world her “business” as a way to physically show her kids sex education. Her recent divorce of white boy rapper K-fed has forced Britney to blossom into a responsible single mother, and the proof is in the pudding as Britney has been spotted peach out in Hollywood with sexpert Paris Hilton. Child experts resoundingly approve of Brittany’s hands off, clothes off, approach, and Mugatu wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if her children grow up to be at least twice as slutty as Brittany.

Here is a pair of Ride Undies for Brittany Spears. Use them, Love them, and keep the kids away from the pool.

After 2 Year Retirement Jay-Z Agrees to Save Humanity

2006-10-31T17:49:00.000-08:00

The history of mankind has been littered with horrific events and awful acts; the truly remarkable, great, events have been few and far between. Most historians agree that the birth of Christ, the discovery of the printing press, and the birth of Mugatu are the only good things to happen in the last 2000 or so years. November 21, 2006 will soon enter this exclusive list as rapper Jay-Z releases his excruciatingly long awaited album, Kingdom Come. Like the barren sands of the Sahara waiting centuries to quench a wraithlike thirst, we have been waiting nearly two years for Jay-Z to come out of retirement and release a non-collaborative studio produced album. No longer will we suckle at the teat of “guest appearance” or “single release”; we are liberated from our curse, and we thank you for your gift Jay-Z.

For returning to humanity, and giving us all what we so desperately need, Mugatu would like to give you this incredible Ezekiel Roman Fleece

Tragedy in London: Fergie Ferg’s London Bridge Goes Down

2006-10-13T16:38:00.000-07:00

Most people assumed that when Fergie Ferg asked the question “How come every time you come around my London London Bridge Wanna go Down?” she was speaking non-explicitly about some sort of overt sexual act. In retrospect the catchy lyrics of Fergie Fergusons song “London Bridge” were clearly a cry for help. In a blast of irony, the incident occurred on Friday the 13th,Stacy (Fergie) Ferguson was in England touring for her The Dutchess album. Just a few hundred meters from the actual London Bridge: Reuters reports that the “you” from Fergie’s song must have “come around” and naturally Fergie Ferg’s London Bridge wanted to go down. Perhaps it was the crisp cool London air, or the stress from her first solo album, but Fergie lost control of her London Bridge and it went down. Paramedics were on site immediately, but naturally Fergie Ferg had little chance of surviving an actual downing of her London Bridge. Sanitation workers were called in to clean and sanitize over 7 city blocks. Fergie Ferg is survived only by her incredible list of catchy hip-hop songs.

Mugatu Says that the loss of Fergie Ferg is at the very least mildly upsetting, perhaps if she had worn this Ezekiel Glasgow Hoodie her London Bridge would have only gone down briefly and then come back.

Jackass, The Best Movie Ever Created, Hands Down, Seriously

2006-09-29T15:46:00.000-07:00

Jackass No. 2 is one of the most magical cinematic adventures you will ever take. The cast list includes names like Chris Pontius, Steve-O, Preston Lacy, and Johnny Knoxville and is interspersed with other incredibly talented, beautiful actors in a cornucopia of talent that looks more like an all-time Hollywood all-star team then anything else. The movies storyline and character depth is nothing short of stunning, and it drives a sense of purpose for every viewer. One of the most amazing things to consider when you get the honor of watching this gem is how this cast was pulled away from the lucrative projects that each member of the cast was working on. Most notably Bam Margera has been involved heavily with Right Guard and their Power Strip Deodorant Technology, and Johnny Knoxville has been shooting birds near the airport; many people did not believe these two stars could be pried away from cable TV commercials and passionate hobbies, but somewhere, somehow, it all came together. I now understand why Johnny Knoxville is the Nickelodeon actor of the year runner up 2002, and I consider this movie an actual gift to humanity. Thank you Jackass No. 2, We Will Not Forget Your Sacrifices. God Bless you.

Mugatu Says I am sending you all my favorite Shirt for being so freaking awesome: The Ezekiel Augustus T-Shirt

Whitney Houston Will Always Love You, but Not Bobby Brown

2006-09-14T16:53:00.000-07:00

Looking less like the glamorous superstar she was in the 80’s and more like the “after” shot in an anti-drug ad, Whitney Houston filed for divorce today from husband Bobby Brown. At the beginning of the marriage many believed that Houston would quickly tire of “bad boy” Bobby Brown and his numerous trips to prison, but, as true superstars do, she snorted her way to the top to have the current status as "the crazy one" in the marriage. The apex of Houston’s bazaar, decades long, crash was in 2002 when she tried to rationalize the use of cocaine to ABC’s Diane Sawyer. In the same interview Houston confirmed that she had been in a drug induced coma since the 80’s by using the statement “crack is wack”, making her the first person to use the word wack in over 18 years. On a positive note the star of The Bodyguard has entered rehab and gotten involved with numerous charities in an effort to turn her life around, and even though she has been addicted to numerous drugs, almost been imprisoned, been beaten, lost millions of dollars, and entered rehab twice she has unquestionably faired better then her Bodyguard co-star Kevin Costner.

Check Out Kevin Costner’s New Movie

Whitney it is clearly too late to save her career, but you may still have time to save your vital organs, Mugatu says you’ll look great at Bobby’s next parole hearing wearing this: Billabong Lumberjill Jacket

Paris Hilton Being Detained in Secret Government Prison

2006-09-07T16:31:00.000-07:00

President Bush admitted today that secret C.I.A. prison camps have existed around the world to hold those deemed threats to America. Bush also disclosed a list of all persons being held in these C.I.A. secret prisons; the list was comprised almost entirely of terrorist suspects with one exception, Paris Hilton. Apparently Hilton garnered the attention of the C.I.A. a few weeks ago when she was bitten by Baby Luv, her pet Kinkajou monkey. The incident did not warrant C.I.A. intervention, but it was bazaar enough that the C.I.A. began to investigate. Days later Hilton released her first album Touched; the album flew up red flags across the Department of Homeland Security for its dangerous content, and was immediately banned from all flights. Hilton suddenly became a high priority target. After she was booked on DUI charges this week the C.I.A. intervened and “relocated the target (Hilton) to an area of neutrality”. Hazardous Materials crews have been working around the clock disposing of all the unsold albums, and tracking down the 6 sold copies. The message coming out of the White House today is that, with Paris Hilton gone, the American people are safer today then they were yesterday.

Mugatu Says Paris Hilton should get used to wearing stripes because nobody will try to get her out of prison, she should wear this: Gentle Fawn Thread Short Sleeve Polo

Mugatu Attacked by Hackers

2006-09-01T16:12:00.000-07:00

A group of fashion hating fascist has attacked Mugatu and his precious, precious, work Mugatusays.com. These alleged “hackers” had brought Mugatusays to its knees, but he has recovered. If these internet pirates wish to stay out of eternal fashion damnation they must write word for word the following apology, and then sign it, and then have their mothers sign it.

Dear Mugatu,

Since we are so sucky at dressing and we know we can never be even one billionth as good looking as you, we have decided to rob the world of your marvelous wisdom. We are childlike pansies who play video games all day. You are so cool and awesome and great. You remind me of my favorite video game hero ___________ because all I do is sit around and play video games like I said before. If I wasn’t so ugly I still couldn’t be better looking then Mugatu because he is the best looking person in the universe. We are sorry because we are ugly and stupid.

Mugatu, please forgive us and don’t destroy us with your powers,

Sincerely

____________________

Mother’s signature

_____________________

P.S. I heard you are phenomenal in bed, I bet it’s true.

If the above letter is deviated from in the slightest you will immediately be damned. I will return stronger then ever.

Kanye West Arrested for Vehicular Manslaughter and Possession of AK-47

2006-08-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

The night started off in a seedy office, and ended with Kanye West apprehended by police. Reportedly the super-star rapper ruthlessly ran down dozens, and was involved in a series of gunfights at extremely close range. Kanye West’s upcoming performance at Bumbershoot, a music performance near Seattle’s Queen Anne, has not been cancelled, but no one is sure what will ensue after the tragic night. Apparently West became involved with a drug ring called Front Yard Ballas in the California city of San Andreas. West had come to San Andreas to escape the crime in Vice City, but he could not shake his gangsta past. West received detailed instructions upon his arrival to San Andreas, but he was distracted and anxious to get started, and as soon as he walked out the door he immediately carjacked a grey SUV, and began hitting every pedestrian he could see. Seemingly tired of running over pedestrians West began carjacking sports cars and odd vehicles; it was doing this that West received multiple gunshots to the chest, bringing his health down to about two bars. After narrowly escaping from a carjacked semi that blew up, Kanye West was subdued by police and forced to reset his console. Kanye West has received constant criticism for growing up in Oak Lawn one of the south suburbs of Chicago and still claiming “street” roots, but surely his behavior in San Andreas shows why he wrote the powerful lyrics “Drug dealing just to get by, stack your money til it gets sky high”.

Mugatu Says you should stop trying to be something you are not Kanye West, and it just might start with wearing the WESC World T-Shirt

Fears of War Intensify as Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff Feud

2006-08-17T16:13:00.000-07:00

Tensions are high in West Hollywood today as Kabbalah driven sectarian violence threatens a fragile cease fire deadline for Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff. The prospect of peace has been overshadowed by escalating violence between the two girls in the last few days; peacekeepers fear that if the attacks do not stop, the infighting will turn into all out war. Most experts agree that the violence is rooted in a skirmish that occurred in the North West border town of Puberty, and since this incident both have been engaged in hostile attacks aimed at wiping the other off the face of the earth. In the past weeks a barrage of Kaytusha rocket like insults from Lindsay Lohan concerning Hilary Duffs “anorexia” has forced Duff to go on an all out offensive. Last week Duff, ignoring cries from the international community, called Lohan “A boyfriend stealing slut”. Fox News called the incident a “Certain precursor to World War III, and quite possibly the apocalypse”. All eyes are now on Myspace Resolution 331, written jointly by HaLeY and SaBrInA, the Myspace resolution demands an immediate end to hostilities because “You guys are like so beautiful, and you should be able to, you know, just get over it and be like happy”. Many believe that even the strong words of Myspace will not be enough to end years and years of Kabbalah sectarian hatred in Hollywood.

Mugatu Says that everyone should prepare for War and wear the Billabong Ammuunition Capri, also you should wear the WESC World Icon T because it looks good with war clothes

Mel Gibson’s Secret Films Reveal He is Crazy. Michael Jackson Crazy.

2006-08-10T14:19:00.000-07:00

Clearly Mel Gibson hit rock bottom on July 28th when he was pulled over for drunk driving, and he made numerous anti-Semitic references; what people don’t know is that Gibson has been battling poor fashion for decades, and this fashion problem is at the root of his decline. In a conspiracy theory straight out of Gibson’s 1997 rarely seen film Conspiracy Theory, it seems that Mel has been involved in a series of films that were designed to be so horrific that no one would see or remember them; these films were used to mask the awful truth about Gibson’s fashion sense. Mugatu risked his highly valuable, most glorious, life to find these films, and try to make some sense out of Gibson’s recent craziness, this is what he found:

-In 1995 Mel Gibson stared in Disney’s Pocahontas, he insisted on voicing both John Smith and Pocahontas.

-In 1993 Gibson stared in The Man without a Face, however the title was totally erroneous because Gibson had a face, he was just really ugly.

-In 1997 Gibson had a cameo in FairlyTale: A true Story. The self proclaimed true story is conclusively false, and focuses on the search for ferries. Ferries don’t exist Mel, so why did you say it was a true story?

-In 2000 Mel Gibson wore panty hoes and shaved his legs in What Women Want. In a Reuters poll nearly 93% of women said this is not what they wanted.

-In 2006 Mel Gibson starred in the independent film I am totally crazy because I don’t dress well*
*Totally made up, but possibly true

Mugatu says that you can turn your life around Mel, and it starts with a nice new shirt, you should wear this:
Casual Industrees Pull Hoodie

Psychologist puzzle over reality TV’s effect on Carmen Electra and David Navarro Divorce

2006-07-19T17:18:00.000-07:00

Super model Carmen Electra and Ex- Red Hot Chili Pepper guitarist Dave Navarro announced their divorce today shocking the MTV reality fan base. Electra and Navarro starred on MTV’s Til Death Do you Part, which documented their marriage and newlywed life. Sadly the couple is the latest in a string of divorces that came after a stint on MTV’s The 10 Spot; (MTV’s prominent Reality TV 10 o’clock hour) most famously Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson filed for divorce after 3 successful years on the 10 spot. Many have known that MTV has been tampering with reality for years now, but it seems a line has finally been crossed. International leaders and tweens alike are calling for an investigation into MTV’s reality tactics on newly weds, and the International Red Cross has formally filled a grievance on behalf of the celebrities for “inhumane amounts of reality directed at innocent newlyweds”. Psychologist and Doctors have been debating the effects of reality on celebrity newlyweds for years, and it looks like the debate has finally been settled, but at what cost?

Mugatu called MTV’s office in New York for comment; however he was forwarded to Total Request Live. He then requested Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie featuring Wyclef Jean

Mugatu Says Carmen Electra deserves a new outfit for having her human rights abused, and she can wear this: Nikita Mushroom Dress

Mugatu Says David Novarro is a little freaky, but he still deserves a new outfit, and he can wear this: Ezekiel Paramount T-Shirt

Pope Linked to Infallibility Doping Scandal… is the Church Juiced?

2006-07-07T17:03:00.000-07:00

Last week the Tour de France was the scene of one of the largest doping scandals in history; nine riders were barred under allegations of doping. On the heals of that scandal the world was shocked to find out today that Pope Benedict XVI has been indicted in a doping scandal stemming back hundreds of years. Critics have openly questioned Benedict’s long running infallible streak claiming that the 1 year and 2 month perfection streak is clear evidence that the Pope must be juiced. Now federal indictments have joined the critics in asking for some answers from the seemingly perfect Benedict. Donald Redding, a life long Papacy fan, had this to say: “Clearly the Pope is doping, his whole career he plays one way, and then BAM! He is perfect. It’s a classic Barry Bonds story. He’s a Juicer” The incident has cast into doubt the legitimacy of previous Popes who have similar infallibility streaks, and forced the Major League Papacy (MLP) to issue the following press release: Fans should brace for a far reaching investigation that may forever place an asterisk next to fan favorites like The Second Council of Lyons, The Council of Basel, Pope Leo II, and Easter.

Mugatu says that the Pope doesn’t need anymore attention, so he should lose the “funny hat”, and wear one of these: Ezekiel Hats

The Ezekiel Dakar Hat

The Ezekiel Dana Fedora Hat

Bush to "Gitmo" Style

2006-06-30T15:25:00.000-07:00

President Bush and his inner circle met for a long weekend at Camp David to discuss his record low poll numbers. A source close to the White House said the meetings were extremely productive, and at times provocative. “One long meeting was closing down, and we all knew something had to give” Said Dick Cheney “George was in the corner counting his Skittles like usual, and all the sudden he jumped up and said ‘Let’s get them Queer Eye’s to give us a makeover’” The fab 5 were on scene within hours and a productive weekend filled with Egyptian Cotton and Silk Blouses ensued. The adminsitration's street smart and savvy look was not enough to sway the Supreme Court this last week however; Bush’s Guantanamo tribunals were ruled unconstitutional in a 5-3 vote. Analyst doubt the wardrobe change will affect the President’s poll numbers, however the experience did give the cabinet members some great gift ideas for the Presidents July 6 birthday.
You can sign the Presidents birthday card here*

*Note: By Clicking onto the GOP website you forfeit all your constitutional rights

Mugatu Says that President Bush's blue suit/black suit routine isn’t representative of the free world, and he should have worn this:WE Icon T-Shirt

World Cup News: United States defeats Ghana in loss competition

2006-06-22T14:42:00.000-07:00

Mugatu would like to congratulate the United States National Team on a terrific performance at the World Cup. The team scored an unprecedented 1 goal in their quest for the cup, and they came within 4 rounds of winning it all. Team leader Landon Donovan showed the world that the U.S. could achieve these amazing results without running, hustling, or winning a game; Donovan led the team in useless balls played out of bounds (57) as well as shots that missed by over 50 feet (23). The early exit from the tournament was the result of a loss at the hands of the Ghanaian soccer team. U.S. head coach Bruce Arena said this: “When will it be our turn? It’s the same story every year, Africa gets all the breaks. They have every advantage out there. How can we even try to compete, especially since our resources are only infinite?”

The U.S. team is planning on sacrificing themselves to the soccer god’s in retribution for the atrocities committed at the World Cup. Great Work Boys, We’re Proud of You!

Mugatu Says that the U.S. soccer team sucks, and they should all wear this great looking Billabong dress: The Billabong Shaun Crochet Straps Halter Dress

Did you make the cut?

2006-06-09T17:00:00.000-07:00

Mugatu publishes his list of the hottest of the hot. Check it out

Justin's Alien Encounter Explains Ugliness

2006-06-06T16:46:00.000-07:00

"It's not like this is the first time I have ever been probed…” said Justin Timberlake “…I mean I was the lead singer of a boy band for god’s sake, but this time it was different” Friends close to Timberlake all agree that Justin has been acting strange since his “incident” a few months ago. The former N’SYNC star claims that on March 14, 2006 he was abducted by “friendly, star crazy aliens”. The aliens probed and studied Timberlake, and then watched him perform daily concerts. “They would just sit and stare while I performed all the hits from my Justified album, they loved it, they really loved it.” As seen in the picture above, the bazaar incident has carried over into Timberlake’s public life; Justin’s skin has become so pale it is almost clear, and it deflects all makeup and sunlight. Justin also will only wear highly reflective futuristic clothing so that he is prepared to be whisked away to the interstellar concert, where he claims he has been called on to “Justify the Galaxy”. Authorities were initially skeptical of Justin’s story, but after a thorough medical examination it was found that Timberlake had some signs of an alien encounter, Dr. Rose of Santa Clara said this: “His voice was much higher and feminine than any male I have ever encountered, and nothing in the examination indicated to us that he was a male human”

Mugatu Says Justin looks like a pasty alien and he should have worn this:Strand Greener T-shirt

Eminem silences opposition by releasing songs no one listens to

2006-06-01T15:11:00.000-07:00

Rapper/albino Eminem has released yet another song talking about the sad hard troubles of his life; the song was apparently written in collaboration with long time friend Jack Daniels. In true Eminem fashion, the song has no rhyme, rhythm, beat, or style; it contains only references to a distant past where Eminem was actually talented. Eminem intelligently incorporates references to his daughter Hailey (age 11) in his songs as a way to keep his largest audience demographic, 11 year old boys, listening. The poor quality of the song may be attributed to Eminem’s recent second divorce with double ex-wife Kim Mathers. Both parties assure the media that Eminems’s lyrics “Kim, Sit down, B%^ch if you move again I’ll beat the S*^t out of you” had nothing to do with the divorce.

Mugatu Says Eminem has sucked for the last 5 years, and he needs a new image, he should have worn this:We Corp Zip Hoodie
:

Why Dont You "Break-up" With that Shirt

2006-05-26T15:53:00.000-07:00

Rumors are swirling that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaungh are "together" after the filming of their new romantic comedy The Break-up. This movie should be labeled a romantic tragedy considering what the stars have been spotted wearing on set. The Break-up is about a couple who end a long relationship, however neither is willing to relinquish their posh condo; the plot was based on a similar situation involving the life of Jennifer Aniston, and her clothes from the early 90’s. Vince Vaughn is said to have undergone intensive makeup everyday to give him a "haggard look" with large bags under his eyes “Ideally we wanted him to look like he had been up all night drinking for the last decade” said director Peyton Reed. Inexplicably Vaughn was spotted still wearing his heavy makeup months after shooting of the film. The film has received great reviews from fashion icons like Rosie Odonnell and Roseanne Conner, but everyone other person who viewed the film was forced to shield their eyes to avoid the terror and pain of The Break-up’s blatant disregard for fashion and humanity. May God have mercy on their souls.

Mugatu Says Jennifer Aniston needs a wardrobe update because the last person to wear that shirt had a slap bracelet on, she should have worn this:WE Frances Knitted Singlet

Mugatu Says Vince Vaughn needs 3 full weeks of sleep and a shirt that wouldn’t be described as “Ned Flanderish”, he should have worn this:Billabong Glitch Button Down

The Worst Blimp Disaster Since the Hindenburg

2006-05-23T16:23:00.000-07:00

After reports that Britney Spears dropped her baby boy, Mugatu has learned that 78% of Americans are now too terrified to watch TV for fear they will see the bloated Britney in a baby tugging battle with a DCFS agent. Oops… I did it Again? How can someone wake up and consciously decide that wearing a napkin over a faded black sports bra is a good idea? Britney apparently missed the old saying that one should never wear a pink thong before Memorial Day, or after gaining 400 pounds. Mugatu will set a nice attainable goal for Britney, how about tomorrow you put your pants on all the way? I had the chance to sit down with Britney and asked her about her new pregnancy rumors. Spears responded to my question by throwing her baby into the air and jumping on the table to sing “Baby One More time”. Her child received only minor injuries; Mugatu will never be the same.

Mugatu Says that Britney Spears looks horrific and atrocious and she should have worn this: Billabong Manrisa Cami Top

and this Aikane D.C. Skirt

Hilton Involved in Horrendous Animal Explosion

2006-05-12T17:05:00.000-07:00

The Associated Press reports that socialite Paris Hilton was involved in a terrible accident involving a rare species of peafowl. The incident started in St Bart’s at 4:40 AM local time when Hilton made a bizarre call to the St. Bart’s Police Department; Hilton calmly told an officer that she had lost her sense of self worth, and she believed it may have been stolen. Later that day Hilton was seen chasing one of the hotel’s peacocks around demanding “That damn peacock better give me back my self worth”. This type of incident is not entirely uncommon for Paris, but the chase took a bizzare turn of events when Hilton grabbed the peacock by the beak and forced herself inside of the bird. Witnesses say Hilton remained inside of the Peacock for a few seconds, and then exploded out of the body of the bird. This is a photo of Hilton moments after this horrendous accident.

Mugatu says Paris Hilton looks like she exploded inside of a peacock and she should have worn this:Gentle Fawn Blue Blood Cami Top

Isn't 98 Degrees supposed to be hot?

2006-05-05T16:23:00.000-07:00

Former boy band star Nick Lachey was spotted on the streets of Hollywood wearing the same shirt that he wore to grandparent’s day in middle school. Fresh off his recent divorce with self proclaimed ditz Jessica Simpson, Lachey started making bad decisions to compensate for the loss of his partner, “I thought I would start with this shirt, it’s the ugliest thing I own, so wearing it should constitute a pretty poor decision”. Although he has failed at marriage, singing, and dressing Lachey is optimistic, he is confident he could fail at all three at least twice more before he dies.

Mugatu Says Nick Lachey is tired and played out, and he should have worn this: WE Chester Printed Zip Hoody

Hilary Duff, So Hot Right Now

2006-05-05T16:08:00.000-07:00

I do not like untalented, young, semi-attractive actors. That said, Hilary Duff is so hot right now. Seen here wearing the Gentle Fawn Sharp Cotton Blazer, Hilary Duff is at the peak of her short and unsuccessful career. She must have fallen into this blazer because I am fairly confident she is not capable of making a good decision. No, this isn’t a joke, and it is not the apocalypse either; Hilary Duff congratulations for being so hot right now. Now let’s fasten our seatbelts and watch her fall from glory.

Mugatu Says Hilary Duff is so hot right now and this is why: Gentle Fawn Sharp Cotton Blazer

People still dress like this?

2006-05-03T16:33:00.000-07:00

Jenifer Aniston (Seen here looking ugly) is reportedly in depression over the pregnancy of Angelina Jolie by her former husband Brad Pitt. Apparently Jen thinks this is reason to time travel back to the early 90’s and look like a charter member of the Mickey Mouse Club. Hey Jen, maybe Brad left you because you dress like you’re headed to the New Kids on the Block concert. In an exclusive interview Anniston’s publicist told Mugatu that Jen’s new look is for her starring role in the upcoming movie You Look Ridiculously Ugly Even Though You’re Not Morbidly Obese.

Mugatu Says Jennifer Aniston looks like she is trapped in the 90's and she should have worn this: GentleFawn Radar Shortsleeve Tee

and these Billabong Ammunition Capri's