After 2 Year Retirement Jay-Z Agrees to Save Humanity

The history of mankind has been littered with horrific events and awful acts; the truly remarkable, great, events have been few and far between. Most historians agree that the birth of Christ, the discovery of the printing press, and the birth of Mugatu are the only good things to happen in the last 2000 or so years. November 21, 2006 will soon enter this exclusive list as rapper Jay-Z releases his excruciatingly long awaited album, Kingdom Come. Like the barren sands of the Sahara waiting centuries to quench a wraithlike thirst, we have been waiting nearly two years for Jay-Z to come out of retirement and release a non-collaborative studio produced album. No longer will we suckle at the teat of “guest appearance” or “single release”; we are liberated from our curse, and we thank you for your gift Jay-Z.

For returning to humanity, and giving us all what we so desperately need, Mugatu would like to give you this incredible Ezekiel Roman Fleece

Tragedy in London: Fergie Ferg’s London Bridge Goes Down

Most people assumed that when Fergie Ferg asked the question “How come every time you come around my London London Bridge Wanna go Down?” she was speaking non-explicitly about some sort of overt sexual act. In retrospect the catchy lyrics of Fergie Fergusons song “London Bridge” were clearly a cry for help. In a blast of irony, the incident occurred on Friday the 13th,Stacy (Fergie) Ferguson was in England touring for her The Dutchess album. Just a few hundred meters from the actual London Bridge: Reuters reports that the “you” from Fergie’s song must have “come around” and naturally Fergie Ferg’s London Bridge wanted to go down. Perhaps it was the crisp cool London air, or the stress from her first solo album, but Fergie lost control of her London Bridge and it went down. Paramedics were on site immediately, but naturally Fergie Ferg had little chance of surviving an actual downing of her London Bridge. Sanitation workers were called in to clean and sanitize over 7 city blocks. Fergie Ferg is survived only by her incredible list of catchy hip-hop songs.

Mugatu Says that the loss of Fergie Ferg is at the very least mildly upsetting, perhaps if she had worn this Ezekiel Glasgow Hoodie her London Bridge would have only gone down briefly and then come back.