Jackass, The Best Movie Ever Created, Hands Down, Seriously

Jackass No. 2 is one of the most magical cinematic adventures you will ever take. The cast list includes names like Chris Pontius, Steve-O, Preston Lacy, and Johnny Knoxville and is interspersed with other incredibly talented, beautiful actors in a cornucopia of talent that looks more like an all-time Hollywood all-star team then anything else. The movies storyline and character depth is nothing short of stunning, and it drives a sense of purpose for every viewer. One of the most amazing things to consider when you get the honor of watching this gem is how this cast was pulled away from the lucrative projects that each member of the cast was working on. Most notably Bam Margera has been involved heavily with Right Guard and their Power Strip Deodorant Technology, and Johnny Knoxville has been shooting birds near the airport; many people did not believe these two stars could be pried away from cable TV commercials and passionate hobbies, but somewhere, somehow, it all came together. I now understand why Johnny Knoxville is the Nickelodeon actor of the year runner up 2002, and I consider this movie an actual gift to humanity. Thank you Jackass No. 2, We Will Not Forget Your Sacrifices. God Bless you.

Mugatu Says I am sending you all my favorite Shirt for being so freaking awesome: The Ezekiel Augustus T-Shirt

Whitney Houston Will Always Love You, but Not Bobby Brown

Looking less like the glamorous superstar she was in the 80’s and more like the “after” shot in an anti-drug ad, Whitney Houston filed for divorce today from husband Bobby Brown. At the beginning of the marriage many believed that Houston would quickly tire of “bad boy” Bobby Brown and his numerous trips to prison, but, as true superstars do, she snorted her way to the top to have the current status as "the crazy one" in the marriage. The apex of Houston’s bazaar, decades long, crash was in 2002 when she tried to rationalize the use of cocaine to ABC’s Diane Sawyer. In the same interview Houston confirmed that she had been in a drug induced coma since the 80’s by using the statement “crack is wack”, making her the first person to use the word wack in over 18 years. On a positive note the star of The Bodyguard has entered rehab and gotten involved with numerous charities in an effort to turn her life around, and even though she has been addicted to numerous drugs, almost been imprisoned, been beaten, lost millions of dollars, and entered rehab twice she has unquestionably faired better then her Bodyguard co-star Kevin Costner.

Check Out Kevin Costner’s New Movie

Whitney it is clearly too late to save her career, but you may still have time to save your vital organs, Mugatu says you’ll look great at Bobby’s next parole hearing wearing this: Billabong Lumberjill Jacket

Paris Hilton Being Detained in Secret Government Prison

President Bush admitted today that secret C.I.A. prison camps have existed around the world to hold those deemed threats to America. Bush also disclosed a list of all persons being held in these C.I.A. secret prisons; the list was comprised almost entirely of terrorist suspects with one exception, Paris Hilton. Apparently Hilton garnered the attention of the C.I.A. a few weeks ago when she was bitten by Baby Luv, her pet Kinkajou monkey. The incident did not warrant C.I.A. intervention, but it was bazaar enough that the C.I.A. began to investigate. Days later Hilton released her first album Touched; the album flew up red flags across the Department of Homeland Security for its dangerous content, and was immediately banned from all flights. Hilton suddenly became a high priority target. After she was booked on DUI charges this week the C.I.A. intervened and “relocated the target (Hilton) to an area of neutrality”. Hazardous Materials crews have been working around the clock disposing of all the unsold albums, and tracking down the 6 sold copies. The message coming out of the White House today is that, with Paris Hilton gone, the American people are safer today then they were yesterday.

Mugatu Says Paris Hilton should get used to wearing stripes because nobody will try to get her out of prison, she should wear this: Gentle Fawn Thread Short Sleeve Polo

Mugatu Attacked by Hackers

A group of fashion hating fascist has attacked Mugatu and his precious, precious, work Mugatusays.com. These alleged “hackers” had brought Mugatusays to its knees, but he has recovered. If these internet pirates wish to stay out of eternal fashion damnation they must write word for word the following apology, and then sign it, and then have their mothers sign it.

Dear Mugatu,

Since we are so sucky at dressing and we know we can never be even one billionth as good looking as you, we have decided to rob the world of your marvelous wisdom. We are childlike pansies who play video games all day. You are so cool and awesome and great. You remind me of my favorite video game hero ___________ because all I do is sit around and play video games like I said before. If I wasn’t so ugly I still couldn’t be better looking then Mugatu because he is the best looking person in the universe. We are sorry because we are ugly and stupid.

Mugatu, please forgive us and don’t destroy us with your powers,

Sincerely

____________________


Mother’s signature

_____________________

P.S. I heard you are phenomenal in bed, I bet it’s true.

If the above letter is deviated from in the slightest you will immediately be damned. I will return stronger then ever.