Kanye West Arrested for Vehicular Manslaughter and Possession of AK-47

The night started off in a seedy office, and ended with Kanye West apprehended by police. Reportedly the super-star rapper ruthlessly ran down dozens, and was involved in a series of gunfights at extremely close range. Kanye West’s upcoming performance at Bumbershoot, a music performance near Seattle’s Queen Anne, has not been cancelled, but no one is sure what will ensue after the tragic night. Apparently West became involved with a drug ring called Front Yard Ballas in the California city of San Andreas. West had come to San Andreas to escape the crime in Vice City, but he could not shake his gangsta past. West received detailed instructions upon his arrival to San Andreas, but he was distracted and anxious to get started, and as soon as he walked out the door he immediately carjacked a grey SUV, and began hitting every pedestrian he could see. Seemingly tired of running over pedestrians West began carjacking sports cars and odd vehicles; it was doing this that West received multiple gunshots to the chest, bringing his health down to about two bars. After narrowly escaping from a carjacked semi that blew up, Kanye West was subdued by police and forced to reset his console. Kanye West has received constant criticism for growing up in Oak Lawn one of the south suburbs of Chicago and still claiming “street” roots, but surely his behavior in San Andreas shows why he wrote the powerful lyrics “Drug dealing just to get by, stack your money til it gets sky high”.

Mugatu Says you should stop trying to be something you are not Kanye West, and it just might start with wearing the WESC World T-Shirt

Fears of War Intensify as Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff Feud

Tensions are high in West Hollywood today as Kabbalah driven sectarian violence threatens a fragile cease fire deadline for Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff. The prospect of peace has been overshadowed by escalating violence between the two girls in the last few days; peacekeepers fear that if the attacks do not stop, the infighting will turn into all out war. Most experts agree that the violence is rooted in a skirmish that occurred in the North West border town of Puberty, and since this incident both have been engaged in hostile attacks aimed at wiping the other off the face of the earth. In the past weeks a barrage of Kaytusha rocket like insults from Lindsay Lohan concerning Hilary Duffs “anorexia” has forced Duff to go on an all out offensive. Last week Duff, ignoring cries from the international community, called Lohan “A boyfriend stealing slut”. Fox News called the incident a “Certain precursor to World War III, and quite possibly the apocalypse”. All eyes are now on Myspace Resolution 331, written jointly by HaLeY and SaBrInA, the Myspace resolution demands an immediate end to hostilities because “You guys are like so beautiful, and you should be able to, you know, just get over it and be like happy”. Many believe that even the strong words of Myspace will not be enough to end years and years of Kabbalah sectarian hatred in Hollywood.

Mugatu Says that everyone should prepare for War and wear the Billabong Ammuunition Capri, also you should wear the WESC World Icon T because it looks good with war clothes

Mel Gibson’s Secret Films Reveal He is Crazy. Michael Jackson Crazy.

Clearly Mel Gibson hit rock bottom on July 28th when he was pulled over for drunk driving, and he made numerous anti-Semitic references; what people don’t know is that Gibson has been battling poor fashion for decades, and this fashion problem is at the root of his decline. In a conspiracy theory straight out of Gibson’s 1997 rarely seen film Conspiracy Theory, it seems that Mel has been involved in a series of films that were designed to be so horrific that no one would see or remember them; these films were used to mask the awful truth about Gibson’s fashion sense. Mugatu risked his highly valuable, most glorious, life to find these films, and try to make some sense out of Gibson’s recent craziness, this is what he found:

-In 1995 Mel Gibson stared in Disney’s Pocahontas, he insisted on voicing both John Smith and Pocahontas.

-In 1993 Gibson stared in The Man without a Face, however the title was totally erroneous because Gibson had a face, he was just really ugly.

-In 1997 Gibson had a cameo in FairlyTale: A true Story. The self proclaimed true story is conclusively false, and focuses on the search for ferries. Ferries don’t exist Mel, so why did you say it was a true story?

-In 2000 Mel Gibson wore panty hoes and shaved his legs in What Women Want. In a Reuters poll nearly 93% of women said this is not what they wanted.

-In 2006 Mel Gibson starred in the independent film I am totally crazy because I don’t dress well*
*Totally made up, but possibly true

Mugatu says that you can turn your life around Mel, and it starts with a nice new shirt, you should wear this:
Casual Industrees Pull Hoodie