Bush to "Gitmo" Style

President Bush and his inner circle met for a long weekend at Camp David to discuss his record low poll numbers. A source close to the White House said the meetings were extremely productive, and at times provocative. “One long meeting was closing down, and we all knew something had to give” Said Dick Cheney “George was in the corner counting his Skittles like usual, and all the sudden he jumped up and said ‘Let’s get them Queer Eye’s to give us a makeover’” The fab 5 were on scene within hours and a productive weekend filled with Egyptian Cotton and Silk Blouses ensued. The adminsitration's street smart and savvy look was not enough to sway the Supreme Court this last week however; Bush’s Guantanamo tribunals were ruled unconstitutional in a 5-3 vote. Analyst doubt the wardrobe change will affect the President’s poll numbers, however the experience did give the cabinet members some great gift ideas for the Presidents July 6 birthday.
You can sign the Presidents birthday card here*

*Note: By Clicking onto the GOP website you forfeit all your constitutional rights

Mugatu Says that President Bush's blue suit/black suit routine isn’t representative of the free world, and he should have worn this:WE Icon T-Shirt

World Cup News: United States defeats Ghana in loss competition

Mugatu would like to congratulate the United States National Team on a terrific performance at the World Cup. The team scored an unprecedented 1 goal in their quest for the cup, and they came within 4 rounds of winning it all. Team leader Landon Donovan showed the world that the U.S. could achieve these amazing results without running, hustling, or winning a game; Donovan led the team in useless balls played out of bounds (57) as well as shots that missed by over 50 feet (23). The early exit from the tournament was the result of a loss at the hands of the Ghanaian soccer team. U.S. head coach Bruce Arena said this: “When will it be our turn? It’s the same story every year, Africa gets all the breaks. They have every advantage out there. How can we even try to compete, especially since our resources are only infinite?”

The U.S. team is planning on sacrificing themselves to the soccer god’s in retribution for the atrocities committed at the World Cup. Great Work Boys, We’re Proud of You!

Mugatu Says that the U.S. soccer team sucks, and they should all wear this great looking Billabong dress: The Billabong Shaun Crochet Straps Halter Dress

Did you make the cut?

Mugatu publishes his list of the hottest of the hot. Check it out

Justin's Alien Encounter Explains Ugliness

"It's not like this is the first time I have ever been probed…” said Justin Timberlake “…I mean I was the lead singer of a boy band for god’s sake, but this time it was different” Friends close to Timberlake all agree that Justin has been acting strange since his “incident” a few months ago. The former N’SYNC star claims that on March 14, 2006 he was abducted by “friendly, star crazy aliens”. The aliens probed and studied Timberlake, and then watched him perform daily concerts. “They would just sit and stare while I performed all the hits from my Justified album, they loved it, they really loved it.” As seen in the picture above, the bazaar incident has carried over into Timberlake’s public life; Justin’s skin has become so pale it is almost clear, and it deflects all makeup and sunlight. Justin also will only wear highly reflective futuristic clothing so that he is prepared to be whisked away to the interstellar concert, where he claims he has been called on to “Justify the Galaxy”. Authorities were initially skeptical of Justin’s story, but after a thorough medical examination it was found that Timberlake had some signs of an alien encounter, Dr. Rose of Santa Clara said this: “His voice was much higher and feminine than any male I have ever encountered, and nothing in the examination indicated to us that he was a male human”

Mugatu Says Justin looks like a pasty alien and he should have worn this:Strand Greener T-shirt

Eminem silences opposition by releasing songs no one listens to

Rapper/albino Eminem has released yet another song talking about the sad hard troubles of his life; the song was apparently written in collaboration with long time friend Jack Daniels. In true Eminem fashion, the song has no rhyme, rhythm, beat, or style; it contains only references to a distant past where Eminem was actually talented. Eminem intelligently incorporates references to his daughter Hailey (age 11) in his songs as a way to keep his largest audience demographic, 11 year old boys, listening. The poor quality of the song may be attributed to Eminem’s recent second divorce with double ex-wife Kim Mathers. Both parties assure the media that Eminems’s lyrics “Kim, Sit down, B%^ch if you move again I’ll beat the S*^t out of you” had nothing to do with the divorce.

Mugatu Says Eminem has sucked for the last 5 years, and he needs a new image, he should have worn this:We Corp Zip Hoodie
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