Paris Hilton Being Detained in Secret Government Prison

President Bush admitted today that secret C.I.A. prison camps have existed around the world to hold those deemed threats to America. Bush also disclosed a list of all persons being held in these C.I.A. secret prisons; the list was comprised almost entirely of terrorist suspects with one exception, Paris Hilton. Apparently Hilton garnered the attention of the C.I.A. a few weeks ago when she was bitten by Baby Luv, her pet Kinkajou monkey. The incident did not warrant C.I.A. intervention, but it was bazaar enough that the C.I.A. began to investigate. Days later Hilton released her first album Touched; the album flew up red flags across the Department of Homeland Security for its dangerous content, and was immediately banned from all flights. Hilton suddenly became a high priority target. After she was booked on DUI charges this week the C.I.A. intervened and “relocated the target (Hilton) to an area of neutrality”. Hazardous Materials crews have been working around the clock disposing of all the unsold albums, and tracking down the 6 sold copies. The message coming out of the White House today is that, with Paris Hilton gone, the American people are safer today then they were yesterday.

Mugatu Says Paris Hilton should get used to wearing stripes because nobody will try to get her out of prison, she should wear this: Gentle Fawn Thread Short Sleeve Polo